Hopefully with getting back into blogging, I’ll be able to preserve my thoughts and feelings of this stage of my life.
Jonathan is now 10 days old, and although I’m so much better physically than I expected, the mental and emotional adjustment has been a lot different than I expected. I feel like I’ve been in limbo trying to get organized and trying to establish a new routine. The first 4 days home, I probably cried every night. I cried because I was happy, I cried because I was worried that Jonathan hadn’t passed his first hearing test. I cried when he passed his second one. I cried because my kids cried. I cried because my kids were crazy. I cried for no reason at all. I cried. A lot.
Thankfully my mom came this week, and that was the greatest help I could have. I didn’t feel like crying once when she was here. I feel like by Tuesday I’d finally adjusted to having a new baby, and then I was able to take the next three days to get used to having 3 kids. My mom left this morning, and thankfully I had Darrell here to help, but once again I find myself wanting to cry. Lillie had a really rough day, which I anticipated, because she really was my mom’s best friend all week. Steven’s been sick, so he’s been more emotional too. Here comes the loop again!
I have to remind Darrell amidst my crying that I really am happy, because I honestly am. This new life change is just emotion causing. Hooray for that I guess.